Gordon Freeman vs The Pyro
Description Half-Life vs Team Fortress 2! Which of these mute characters from Valve games is the superior fighter?! Interlude Wiz: Valve. Hailed by many to be a great video game company. Boomstick: Too bad they can't count to 3. Wiz: Despite this, they have produced characters with great personalities and things that make them stand out. Boomstick: So basically anything but these two. Wiz: Gordon Freeman, the mute hero Boomstick: And The Pyro, the mumbling maniac. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death Battle Gordon Freeman Wiz: Gordon Freeman is a physicist working for Black Mesa, competitor with Aperture Science. Boomstick: You have to love how these Valve games are all interconnected huh? I mean, Black Mesa, Aperture Labs, and Mann Co. all exist in the same world! Wiz:Freeman isn't an ordinary physicist. And by that I mean the most scientific thing he does during the games is push a button. Boomstick: But that's OK because who wants to see him do sciencey things when he has all of this fine weaponry to choose from!!! Wiz: Before that lets talk about his armor, the HEV suit. It makes him pretty durable and can be shot multiple times before the armor degrades. Boomstick: With that out of the way, Mr. Freeman has his iconic crowbar and Gravity Gun. The gun can pick up small to medium sized objects and launch them at his opponent, including explosive barrels! Too bad it cant throw organic things... Wiz: He has a standard pistol, a magnum, and an smg with grenades Boomstick: He has my favorite, the shotgun, which has an alternate fire that's twice as powerful and uses twice the ammo. Another favorite weapon of mine is the Pulse Rifle. While seeming to be an ordinary assault rifle, it can fire off a laser ball that instantly disintegrates the enemy. It can even bounce off of walls! Wiz: He has a scoped crossbow that can reach things far away from him. He also has hand grenades and a guided rocket launcher. Boomstick: Holy shit that's a lot! Wiz: He is an expert with all these weapons, and is incredibly intelligent. He can fight off multiple armed Combine Soldiers at once, and- Boomstick: Zombies. The zombies in this game are terrifying! Accept for the regular ones those kind suck. But the poison ones are fucking freaky! Wiz: Gordon Freeman is not someone to mess around with Alyx Vance: Man of few words aren't you? Gordon: ... Pyro Wiz: Blutarch and Redmond Mann's father had just passed away after buying useless land. He left equal parts of this land to the two brothers. Boomstick: Naturally since the two hated each other more than my brother hates me after what I got him for Christmas last year, they each hired 9 mercenaries to fight and obtain more useless land then the other. Why? Because stupid. Wiz: One of these 9 mercenaries was the mysterious Pyro Boomstick: This guy is fucked up. In the midst of rocket launchers and fucking laser cannons, he still wants to burn people alive. Wiz: Well, not exactly. You see Pyro doesn't see things the way we do. Shows Pyro prancing through Pyroland Boomstick: What. The. Fuck? Wiz: I don't know. I think he has schizophrenia. Boomstick: Well his "Rainblower" is actually a flamethrower which can torch people alive before you can say good bye to your children. It has a compression blast of air that can reflect ANYTHING that isn't a bullet. It can even push PEOPLE. Wiz: The flamethrower runs out of ammo fairly quickly, but he can stock back up on ammo by picking up discarded weapons. Somehow. Boomstick: I need to learn how to do that. Probably save me money. I mean, seriously, how awesome would it be to shoot someone, then turn their own weapon into shells for my shotgun?! Wiz:... Boomstick: What? Wiz: Nothing. Anyway, he has a fire axe, which he sees as a giant...lollipop Boomstick: Fear me I bring sweets! Now you must pay out the ass for a tooth filling! Mwuahahahaha! Wiz: In terms of long ranged weapons, he carries a shotgun- Boomstick: Hell yeah! Wiz: But we'll be giving him the Flare Gun instead Boomstick: Awww... Wiz: It can set people on fire from longer distances than the flamethrower. Boomstick: In fact, it can crit players if they've already been set ablaze. Wiz: Speaking of being set ablaze, if you somehow manage to get away from the Pyro with your life, chances are you're gonna be on fire for 10 seconds. Which, if you haven't forgotten, hurts. A lot. Boomstick: Not only that, but he can do a short ranged instakill Hadouken! And yes that is what it's called. Wiz: Pyro has been fighting as a mercenary for YEARS now, giving him a lot of experience. He even took down the entire Blu team by himself in Meet the Pyro. His weaknesses are that he is incredibly short ranged, even with the Flare Gun, which is his only ranged weapon. He is also more used to working on a team, and rarely does anything solo. Boomstick: Even when he's alone, you shouldn't underestimate him. He's a walking murder machine of fiery doom. Pyro rocks out on his imaginary guitar Death Battle Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!!! Gordon Freeman is hanging out on the Garry's Mod map Flatgrass. Suddenly a player no clips in and spawns in the Pyro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bqs8gUKaKg FIGHT! Pyro runs at Freeman with his flamethrower screaming maniacally. Freeman pulls out the Pulse Rifle and shoots the laser at him, hooping to end the battle. Pyro reflects it with the compression blast, but Gordon manages to get out of the way in time. He shoots at Pyro with the normal Pulse Rifle bullets to keep him away, hitting him a few times. Pyro backs up a bit and takes out his flare gun. Gordon takes out his crossbow, looks down the sight, and fires right at Pyro's head. Pyro pulls his flame thrower back out and reflects it, but it misses Freeman. Pyro begins to charge towards Gordon again, this time making it to him. Gordon avoids the flames and pulls out a crowbar. He swings it at Pyro but he blocks with the fire axe and knocks him away. He pulls out the flare gun once more and this time fires a shot. It hits and Gordon is set on fire. His armor allows him to survive the afterburn however. Gordon pulls out a magnum but it's knocked out of his hand by Pyro. Gordon pulls out his crowbar and whacks Pyro across the face. At this point, Pyro has used up all of the ammo from his flamethrower and resorts to using the fire axe for short ranged combat. Gordon blocks every strike that Pyro makes and brutally beats Pyro. Pyro drops the axe and runs for the magnum in hopes to get more ammo. Gordon Freeman picks up the axe with his Gravity Gun, launching it at Pyro and cutting him in half. KO! Results Boomstick: YESYESYESYESYES!!!! Wiz: Gordon wins this fight for two main reasons. He has more weaponry and is better at fighting alone. Boomstick: Even The Pyro's ability to negate the Pulse Rifle insta kill wasn't enough to save him. Looks like the Pyro's flame was extinguished. Wiz: The winner is Gordon Freeman. Next Time Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle. Meeeowth that's right! I'm a kitty, a digi-kitty. Meowth vs Gatomon! Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Company' themed Death Battles Category:GameboyAdv Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015